Been forever!

So I haven't posted in a very long time.
Got some stuff to update on.

First, I am expecting baby #4 on May 22, 2015.

On an ultrasound on Thursday we took a peek at gender. Baby was not being fully cooperative but we are 95% sure it's a BOY! I am so excited. 3 boys and 1 girl!

My two eldest were not the happiest. Judah, he took it the hardest. He was thinking it was my choice. That I had chosen a boy. Haha

I told them that God chooses if you have a boy or girl and Ora told me "No, my teacher says your tummy chooses". I said "well maybe your teacher doesn't believe in God, or she does and can't say that God chooses."

The next day they came around and were ok.

Ari just has no idea what's going on. I have the sneaking suspicion that he will not be happy because he will no longer be the baby lol.

Judah had a school play and had his own lines. He did so good, considering he is my shy child.

Ora is doing really well with reading. She's definitely my pro!

Ari is just getting big and is being a rotten little boy lol. He's so smart and adorable though.

I'm still working at walgreens....

This baby's dad is in jail for domestic violence. He will not be part of this Baby's life.

I'm feeling lonely and wanting to be in love but I don't see that happening any time soon, or at all.

Such is life.

Well I guess that's all for now.

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Life and it's strange ways....

I have been thinking a lot lately about life.
About me.
About others.
About everything.

Me....
Ahhhhh. Damn it. I changed my mind on posting this. I think it will be a personal journal entry. :/

I am so going to turn this post around 100%.
No need to focus on negative stuff.

So lately I have been couponing.
I have been saving so much money.

Ok.. My mind is MUCH too scatterbrained tonight. I don't think this posting thing is going to be a very good idea.

.....




Sleepy girl :), a photo by jonathanandcari on Flickr.


I caught him reading a paper insert. My word he's toooo cute for his own good!, a photo by jonathanandcari on Flickr.

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A post

So, now that I finally have a chance to sit at a computer and type out a post, I shall.

I have been so busy lately, between three kids, school and full-time work, I don't get a lot of time to sit and write.

Judah started second grade.
He loves his teacher and is having so much fun. He still hates homework, but I tell him it's a part of life. We all have things we have to do that we don't necessarily want to do. We have to do them anyway. He is a smart kid. I know I say that all the time, but he really is. It amazes me to hear him talk about things and hold conversations with him. I think he teaches me just as much, if not more, that I teach him.

Ora started kindergarten.
She too is super smart and I love her dearly. This kindergartner uses words like "particularly". I mean really? Child. You are only 5! Stop trying to be so big. :) She too loves school and was SO happy when she saw it was me picking her up from school. That grin is precious and I love her to death. My little cuddle bug.

Ari started.... talking.... a LOT!
Ari is such a typical boy. He is a daredevil. He is also naughty. My rotten boy. But he is cute and I can see him changing so much. He is also still a BIG boy. The other day I went to pick up my nephew, who is 5 months younger (who for a while there was about to pass Ari up) and I braced myself to pick up a child Ari's size. Not so much. I felt like I was about to throw poor Ben with the force I but behind picking him up.
Ari is built like a little linebacker. Big boned and husky. LOVE!


Some conversations I have had with the kids.

Judah: Mom, I did some of my homework. Will you do the rest?
Me: No, son. That is your homework and your responsibility.
Judah: But I did most of it. I just want you to finish it for me. PLEASE?
Me: Judah, you need to do it. You are smarter than me. I don't know how to do that.
Judah: No, you're smarter.
Me: Nope. You are the smartest.
Judah: Mom, I'm only smarter at video games. You are smarter with homework.

HAHA, my dork. Thinking he can actually talk me into doing his homework.



Me: Judah, how was your first day of school?
Judah: Good. I like my teacher. She's very nice.
Me: That's wonderful!!! So.... Do you have a girlfriend?
Judah: *grumbles while smiling*
Me: Who is it?
Judah: .........
Me: Is it H_____? Is it V______?
Judah: *glares at me*
Ora: His girlfriend is V_______!!!!!! He's just too embarrassed to say it.
Me: Is that so? Who's your boyfriend Ora?
Ora: *grumble while smiling*
Judah: What does his name start with?
Ora: "J"
Me: Ohhhhh. Is it J1_____?
Ora: Not particularly. Kind of.
Judah: It's J2____!!!!!!
Me: Awwwww. J2____???? How cute!

I love teasing my kids. They think it's hilarious!

Ari always wants to see himself when being recorded or having pictures taken.
If he can't see himself he says "I WANT ARI!!!" "SEE ARI!!!"
HAHA. My silly boy.

And he catches me off guard with all his new words.
Today I made him a nutella sandwich and he goes "SAMMICH!!!"
And when he says "You k, mommy?"
And tonight when I put him down for bed he says "uh hug! uh kiss!" so I gave him a hug and kiss. Then when I was leaving the room he says "Uv you. Goodbye. Nigh-Nigh"


I just can't believe how big they are getting.
How smart and how gorgeous.
How loving and caring.

I found a baby picture of Judah and I literally like bawled all night thinking about how they all are supposed to be babies still.
But life doesn't work that way. I know 5 years down the road I will find pictures of them now and just bawl thinking. My boy is supposed to be 7. Or my girl is supposed to be 5. My baby is supposed to be 2.

It never ends. My amazing children.
I love them more than anything in this world!!!

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Ora Koryn

Tomorrow my beautiful little lady will be <b>5 YEARS OLD!</b>
How is this even possible?

Ora Koryn,

My beautiful, sweet, loving, dramatic little 5 going on 16 year old girl, I love you to death. You are so smart. So nurturing. I love how you love to cuddle, even though you plop down on me an make it hurt. I guess love hurts sometimes ;). So have such beautiful blue eyes and you are going to be quite the heartbreak to all the boys when you grow up. Daddy is going to need himself a rifle to chase all those boys away.

You are so wonderful and I love how your little face lights up whenever you receive a gift.
I don't have a lot of money, so I can only get you little things, but you appreciate them. You get so happy and give big hugs and loves. Your love language is totally gifts. You love receiving gift even if they are just little.

You are my silly girl and I look forward to all the laughs we will have as you grow!

I love you little lady!
Love Mommy

Happy Birthday gorgeous!!!

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11:30pm

So much has been happening. Good stuff!

School is going wonderfully!  I still love it (became a "lamplighter") 4.0 GPA.

I am living on my own now in a little studio apartment and its nice to have a place called "home" instead of crashing on peoples couches.

I am continuing to lose weight. 

I'm getting to know so many wonderful people through school and work.

Again, the only downfall is bring away from my kiddos! Yet, I do see them every time I get the chance. I love hugging them and kissing their little faces.

Judah could do without all of that though since he's "all grown up and stuff" now at 7 years old. No more cuddles for mommy, unless he's sick, then he wants the cuddles.

Miss Koryn-ee face is still a cuddle bug but her way of trying to get cuddles is to walk over and flop on top of you and continue flopping around lol. Goofy girl but she is a sweetheart.

Ari. He doesn't cuddle but he will give hugs and kisses. When I'm coughing he comes up "uh you k mom?" Such a sweet boy but also rotten. He is so mischievous.  Tell him no and he grins with a look of "I'm so cute, you can't be mad at me".

I had a big blessing at work. 

A mother and daughter came up to me and spoke words of wisdom, truth and encouragement.  I had a good cry with them. They were so sweet and the daughter said "I just want to take her home with me". 

I just can't put into words how grateful I am that there are good people in the world still. Strangers who love and care about others just because that's in their heart.

Despite having all these new people in my life who I love and care about there is something else...

I'm not going to lie about it, but I miss companionship. 

I miss sleeping in someones arms. 

I miss romance. 

I miss dates. 

I miss holding hands. 

I miss kisses. 

It feels a little like something is missing in my life, but I continue to hold onto hope that "he's" out there. Hopefully not too far away, but out there nonetheless.  It just seems anyone I'm interested in, isn't interested in me. 

I try and drop hints/clues but nothing comes of it.

I always think, "someday" and start singing "someday my prince will come". Silly huh? 

I've also just given up on trying to be what I think someone wants.

I am me. 

I am goofy. 

I and a dork to the max. 

I crack cheesy jokes and laugh at myself. 

I'm sarcastic.  

I am loving. 

I am faithful.  

I am caring. 

My heart aches to share my life with someone who can accept me for who I am. 

For my ups and downs. 

For my lack of tact. 

My baggage and Lord knows I have a bunch. 

I am not the person I was in high school. 

Hell, I'm not even the person I was 4 months ago!  

I have grown. 

I have become wiser. 

I have learned to be happy and to not let others determine my mood so much. 

Only I can make myself feel a certain way and I choose happy! 

I choose joy. 

I choose to live a positive life!

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Been a While

Oh my life has been so crazy, busy and fun.

So school is going well and I am loving it. I am learning a ton and have made some good friends.

I also got a full-time job!
Nothing spectacular but hey its a job.
I like the people I work with, we laugh and joke around and even though its stressful at times, the moments we can chat are worth it.

My children are beautiful and wonderful and so fun! I love spending time with my gorgeous babies!

Judah will be starting 2nd grade this month and Ora will be starting kindergarten!  Ari will just be a typical 2 year old.

It's so hard being away from them so much between school and work after being a full-time stay at home mom, but it won't last forever and it will make my life with them easier in the long run!

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Refocusing

I have decided to do all that I can to focus on all the positive things in my life. Sure I have a lot of problems, but who doesn't?
Everyone deals with problems, everyone struggles.
Everyone has some aspect of their life that is completely screwed up, but there are so many people who deal with it so well.
I want to be one of those people!
I am going to focus on my children, building my relationship with them more and more.
I am going to focus on my schooling. I want to become a lamplighter at my school. It requires good grades, being prompt and not missing school. It looks excellent on your resume as well.
I am going to work to save, save, save money so I can purchase my own car.
I have so much to be thankful for. Thankful for my children, school, (possible job) and so on.
I have integrity.
I am honest.
I am pretty and I am losing weight.
I am smart.
I am a wonderful and loyal friend.
I am a hard worker.
And so much more!
When the time comes and the right man shows up, I will be a loving, faithful, and honest girlfriend.
I just need to find a man who will fight tooth and nail to be with me when I go through my issues.
I don't want to hear words.
I want to see actions.
Actions speak louder than words!

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30 Things My Kids Should Know About Me. #12

#12. Describe A Typical Day In Your Current Life

A typical day in my current life is hard to put on paper because so much is up in the air.
Waking up at about 6 am, getting ready, going to school from 8-12 then homework or hanging out with friends until evening and spending time with my kids whenever I can on the weekdays.
On the weekends I get to have my beautiful children to hang out with.

I do the basics as well..... eat, sleep, brush teeth, brush hair, drink, etc etc.

I am so incredibly tired right now.
I have a lot of hardships I am going through right now.

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30 Things My Kids Should Know About Me. #11

#11- List 10 Pet Peeves You Have.

1. Not having any privacy. Parent's knocking on the door every time I shut it to be alone for a while.
2. People who are rude and do not have common manners. ALWAYS say "Please" "Thank You" and "You're Welcome".
3. Men who don't hold doors open for women or elderly people.
4. Boogers in kids noses. Parent's get those boogers OUT! I never let my kids walk around with boogers in their nose.
5. People who try to control EVERYTHING!!!
6. Losing things. I HATE when I can't remember where I put something. I get mean!
7. When my face feels greasy or feels dry. Weird.
8. Getting pebbles, sand or other particles in my shoes.
9. When my brain doesn't cooperate and give me the words to say until long after a conversation is over.
10. When people claim to love, care and trust me but their actions scream the opposite. ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS!

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Mother/Daughter Tea and Mother's Day

On Saturday, May 11, 2013 I went to a mother/daughter tea in Thornton. 

It was good, it would have been better had I not had a huge argument with the kids dad. 

So my mom, myself and my daughter went up to the Golden Corral for the tea party and met up  with my sister and two of my nieces. 

The "theme" was being women of hope. 

To be completely honest, my head was else where. I had so much going on in my mind I don't remember half of the stuff that went on. I had one cup of tea, but by the time I got to it, it was already cold :/

These three little people are what gave me a reason to celebrate Mother's Day. I love them more than I could ever say! My Judah David, Ora Koryn and Ariah Patrick Lee, I love you so very much!

For mother's day I got some super sweet gifts from my Judah and Ora. They made them at school.

 My J-bug gave this to me and apologized that he wrote nice twice. I gave him a BIG hug and told him it was ok and that I LOVE the gift. 

 This is the front of the card Ora made for me. SO sweet. 

 This is what the inside of the card said. I also LOVE the way she writes her name. She's getting so good at it!

My GORGEOUS little girl!

All in all I had a really good time with my babies. I love them SO much. They are the best kids in the whole world. 

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Cast of Characters

The purpose of this blog entry is to help put faces to names of those I will be talking about in my blog. 

Please be patient with me as this will be evolving as I go along. 

 This is me, the author of this blog. I am Carolina (a.k.a. Cari). 

 My son Judah David. Born May 26, 2006. He was two months premature weighing 4 lbs 9 oz.

He had a heart arrhythmia and a brain bleed, but he is healthy as a horse with no complications.

You would never know that he was preemie just by looking at him. He's a tall healthy boy! 

 My beautiful daughter Ora Koryn. Born August 22, 2008.  She was 6 days early (on time of course lol). 

She was 7lbs 1oz and healthy. She didn't want to cry for the first couple of days. 

She is very different now! Now you can't get her to be quiet! She is 4 going on 16!

 This is my little man Ariah Patrick Lee. Born May 10, 2011.

He was a month early weighing in at a whopping 10 lbs 13 oz! 

He had to be in the hospital for 3 weeks and 2 days. He had to be intubated and stuff. 

He is super healthy now. The only thing he "has" now is a birth defect and it's just one pupil is bigger. 

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Happy Joyfulness

So many things are looking up in life.
My kids are amazing.
School is going great.
I have met some amazing new friends.
I am just giddy giddy!

I can't wait to expand on everything, but I know several people who read my blog that would be preachy.

More to come SOON!!

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30 Things My Kids Should Know About Me. #10

#10: Describe Your Most Embarrassing Moment. 

The day I gave birth to Miss Ora Koryn was one embarrassing day. It was actually quite funny, and I think it was possibly more embarrassing for my sister than myself. 

So when I was pushing Ora out, she came out FAST. As soon as her body came out a large amount of amniotic fluid squirted out across the room. It's funny, because later, after all the excitement of a new baby my sister was wonderful and told us her point of view. 

My sister was standing there in the room with me. She was holding Judah (yes, I let my son be in the room) and was talking to Judah about how his baby sister was about to come into the world. As I made my final push the fluid squirted across the room and onto my sister. She said she had to try really hard to compose herself but kept thinking "Ewwwww, her vag juice was all over my leg...... Ewwww, its in my shoe now and it's all gooey..." HAHAHAHAHAHA

I laughed SO hard when she told me that. 

I guess it's a chance you take when watching a child be born! :)

And simply because it is a post about Ora's birth, here is a photo of my gorgeous little lady right after she was born!

On a side note:

HOW ON EARTH IS IT POSSIBLE THAT SHE WILL BE 5 THIS YEAR???

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30 Things My Kids Should Know About Me. #9.

LIST 5 PEOPLE WHO INSPIRED YOU AND HOW. (cut it down to 5)

Miss Toni-Kaye has inspired me more than words can say. She is such a strong woman. She is going through some hard times yet whenever I see her she is confident and loving. She is giving and caring. She has accomplished SO much that it has really made me want to strive to better myself. She has gone to cosmetology school, working full-time, being a wonderful mom, shes back in school, cooks meals, gives her spare time (what she has of it) freely to all of her friends who are also going through hard times. I am truly blessed to have her as my friend.

Samantha V. is so strong. I know she is having such a hard time since losing her 2 year old little boy in a tragic accident. She has not been afraid to show her feelings. She is an amazing mother and I inspire to be like her. She is loving, caring, self-less, strong, sweet, beautiful. I just wish I could take the pain away from her.

Heather Lorraine- she has been through so much crap but she has pulled through and seems to strong and is working on bettering her life for her and her daughter. So much stronger than I. She was the one who told me I should go to bartending school. I went and thoroughly enjoyed myself. She now has a new job and is working hard to get on her feet. She is an inspiration, like Toni-Kaye, for bettering myself and working on getting on my feet.

Kymberly Kay is going through a lot of what I have been going through. She is an amazing mom and friend. She can be having a hard time, yet she is ALWAYS there to listen when I need to talk. She has a big open heart that lends itself to others for love and comfort!

Sarah Joy is an amazing mom. She is an amazing full-time mom and her son is so wonderful and well behaved. She is obviously doing something right. I love how she stands firm to her beliefs. She is pro-life and she knows what it is like to give a child up for adoption, so she knows how hard it can be to carry a child to term and have to give them up. She is strong and it was a very brave and hard decision to make.

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30 Things My Kids Should Know About Me. #8.

8. What are 5 passions you have?

Obviously my children are one of my passions. I am so passionate about helping them to lead good lives. I can't even put into words how much I dwell on it. I am working to better myself so that they can have all the things I never had. I want to be able to get them their first car. I want to provide them with the opportunity to go to college. I want to help them help themselves. 

Another passion of mine is music. I love so many different types of music. Country, pop, alternative, heavy metal, rock, hip-hop, rap and so much more. It all just depends. If I can relate to the lyrics I am drawn in. If it has a good tune or beat I will listen to it regardless of the lyrics. I just love music and listen to it all the time. If I don't have youtube playing in the background or on the radio I will have headphones and listen to the music on my phone. (If you have any song suggestions send them my way! I love discovering new music!)

My voice... No, not the sound of my own voice, but the opinions and stories I have to share. I love talking and sharing my experiences! This is a blessing and a curse because I have what I call "word vomit". It just pours out without me even realizing it, without being able to detect if a person is truly interested or if I am driving them crazy. I am a talker. You get me on a subject that I am interested in I could, and if permitted, will talk until your poor ears fall to the floor. 

I am passionate about bettering myself. Since separating from the kids dad I have been searching for a job. That was back in November. Applying to many jobs a day. Submitting resume after resume without any solid leads on getting a job. Well, last month I decided to go to bartending school. I attended Bartending and Casino College of Denver. I start school again on Friday! I am going back to become a dental assistant. I am beyond excited to learn more and actually make something of myself. To start a career, get on my feet and be able to support myself and my children. 

Photographs and videos... I used to want to be a photographer, but decided instead to just take pictures as a hobby. To take them to preserve memories so that I can always look back and see how my children have changed and grown. Blogging is obviously different but I love that it too can keep memories. I can type, take videos, take photos and so on so that I can look back see the changes and remember my beautiful childrens silly comments. These help me because honestly, I don't ever want to throw any of my kids drawings or letters away, but if I kept them all I would be in a world of hurt! lol. So I take pictures of the drawings/art work before throwing them away, that way I have them stored electronically and I don't feel as bad throwing stuff away :)

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Weekend Shenanigans! (WITH PICTURES FINALLY!)

Weekend Shenanigans! 

I hadn't seen my beautiful babies for a whole week while their dad was in D.C. 

When he came back from D.C. I asked him to bring my babies to me immediately so I could see them. When my babies walked in the front door I couldn't contain the happiness. I just hugged and kissed and smoooshed their cheekies. It seems so odd that after a week they seemed to have grown so much! Goodness gracious. 

Anyway, we had some La Fogata mexican food since I was craving it like no other. 

Then the kidlets got to stay the night with me. Judah helped me with some chores and stuff while Ari got in the way and Ora went off to play in the backyard. 

I love watching my babies sleep and I love when they cuddle up next to me to sleep. 

My sweeties are just perfect. 

Sunday morning we woke up early and went to play out front. Well Ari decided he wanted to go on a walk so we just followed him. The kid has SO much energy that I had to keep stopping him so that Judah and Ora could catch up. Ari was NOT pleased whenever I would hold his hand and tell him to wait. The boy has a temper and would scream and cry and sit down until I said he could go again. LOL

Judah and Ora had a blast collecting worms. Tons of worms. It had rained the night before so there were many of them in the gutters. Judah was on his cousins old scooter that has a basket on it and Judah was putting dirt in it with the worms. 

Ora would only grab the tiny worms, she is such a girl. She tried to grab a big one and it moved and she freaked out and pulled her hand away. She made me laugh.

Later, Jonathan called to say he was on the way to pick the kids up. I told him I wanted to keep them. He said that at least he wanted to bring them cinnamon rolls. I asked the kids if they wanted to go with daddy or stay with mommy. Judah wanted to stay with me and Ora wanted to go with daddy. Ari, well he can't choose and I had a couple things to do so I sent him with his dad. 

Judah has always been a mamas boy. He was the one who nursed the longest, co-slept and always wanted to cuddle with me. He loves his dad, but I think he has just had a different connection with me. 

Ora on the other hand is TOTALLY a daddies girl. She has her father wrapped around her little finger like no other. She loves me as well and loves to cuddle, but is definitely more attached to her dad. 

Ari is..... Ari. Neither mommy or daddies boy. He's very independent. HATES to be held or cuddled. High energy and never stops. He loves us, just isn't really attached to either one of us more than the other. 

 ^^So cool with a hat!^^

 ^^Love this candy!!!^^

 ^^Sleeping with his little booty in the air!^^

                                                    ^^Ora's cute little pudgy belly!^^

 ^^They sleep in the strangest positions!^^

 ^^Poor lady tipped the tiny bike and was sad :(^^

 ^^Lets keep going mom!^^

^^Look at our worms!!!^^

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