Monday, August 19, 2013


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So much has been happening. Good stuff!

School is going wonderfully!  I still love it (became a "lamplighter") 4.0 GPA.

I am living on my own now in a little studio apartment and its nice to have a place called "home" instead of crashing on peoples couches.

I am continuing to lose weight. 

I'm getting to know so many wonderful people through school and work.

Again, the only downfall is bring away from my kiddos! Yet, I do see them every time I get the chance. I love hugging them and kissing their little faces.

Judah could do without all of that though since he's "all grown up and stuff" now at 7 years old. No more cuddles for mommy, unless he's sick, then he wants the cuddles.

Miss Koryn-ee face is still a cuddle bug but her way of trying to get cuddles is to walk over and flop on top of you and continue flopping around lol. Goofy girl but she is a sweetheart.

Ari. He doesn't cuddle but he will give hugs and kisses. When I'm coughing he comes up "uh you k mom?" Such a sweet boy but also rotten. He is so mischievous.  Tell him no and he grins with a look of "I'm so cute, you can't be mad at me".

I had a big blessing at work. 
A mother and daughter came up to me and spoke words of wisdom, truth and encouragement.  I had a good cry with them. They were so sweet and the daughter said "I just want to take her home with me". 

I just can't put into words how grateful I am that there are good people in the world still. Strangers who love and care about others just because that's in their heart.

Despite having all these new people in my life who I love and care about there is something else...
I'm not going to lie about it, but I miss companionship. 
I miss sleeping in someones arms. 
I miss romance. 
I miss dates. 
I miss holding hands. 
I miss kisses. 
It feels a little like something is missing in my life, but I continue to hold onto hope that "he's" out there. Hopefully not too far away, but out there nonetheless.  It just seems anyone I'm interested in, isn't interested in me. 
I try and drop hints/clues but nothing comes of it.

I always think, "someday" and start singing "someday my prince will come". Silly huh? 

I've also just given up on trying to be what I think someone wants.
I am me. 
I am goofy. 
I and a dork to the max. 
I crack cheesy jokes and laugh at myself. 
I'm sarcastic.  
I am loving. 
I am faithful.  
I am caring. 
My heart aches to share my life with someone who can accept me for who I am. 
For my ups and downs. 
For my lack of tact. 
My baggage and Lord knows I have a bunch. 
I am not the person I was in high school. 
Hell, I'm not even the person I was 4 months ago!  
I have grown. 
I have become wiser. 
I have learned to be happy and to not let others determine my mood so much. 
Only I can make myself feel a certain way and I choose happy! 
I choose joy. 
I choose to live a positive life!


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